BLOGTEMBER DAY 20: What I Wish More People Believed

Tuesday, September 20th 2016: Something you wish more people knew or believed.

I subscribe to the Thumper school of thought:

And I wish more people did too.

Something (along the lines of Thumper’s quote here) my mom always said to us growing up was “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. As a kid this was annoying and frustrating because sometimes you just had to call it how you see it when someone was being a real butt head. However, as an adult I appreciate this mantra and use it as an important philosophy when it comes to interacting with people.

I talked a bit about this in the video where I addressed hurtful comments I got on my YouTube channel over the past few years. I understand that “freedom of speech” is an important and valuable addition to the American constitution. As a Canadian, I can’t speak much to that but in my opinion a “freedom of speech” should be used in the context of people who face prejudice and oppression to speak up for themselves, defend themselves and their loved ones, and cry out for equality and a better world without fear of retribution.

Not for people to be posting “hate” on social media.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Different opinions are what make the world an interesting place that evolves and grows and changes as time progresses. I mean, this post itself is just that – my opinion.

Just because you HAVE the right to share your words, thoughts, and opinions does not MAKE it right.

I am not saying that I never disagree with what people say in YouTube videos or that I never dislike someone’s outfit or notice a fault that someone may have… of course I do, I am human with thoughts and sometimes I express those thoughts to my friends or family. I am not here to sit on a pedestal and say everything I do is right and (as I shake my finger) everyone out there needs to follow my lead. I am not perfect. But I have never sent anyone “hate” or left a negative comment, anonymous or otherwise.

We live in a pretty messed up world. There are people suffering in every corner of it and everyone is fighting a battle that you may have no idea about. It is just as easy to speak kind and uplifting words as it is to put people down, and at the end of the day wouldn’t you rather make someone feel good about themselves? Think about what you’re saying, consider how you would feel if someone said that to you or someone you love. And then maybe say something positive instead. Complements are free.

It may be easier to sit behind a computer screen and deliver “honest” critiques on people’s YouTube videos and Instagram pictures but at the end of the day, what does that accomplish? If you don’t like a video, stop watching it. If you aren’t a fan of someone, don’t be scrolling through their Instagram feed. Take yourself away from things you react negatively to and surround yourself with things and people that make you happy. On that note, let other people be surrounded by happiness and positivity too. A negative comment can destroy someones self-esteem and perhaps they put a lot of effort into that picture/ outfit/ video/ hairstyle/ etc. and nobody has the right to take that joy away from them.

I once read a quote that read something along the lines of “one negative comment is remembered more than one-hundred positive ones”. And unfortunately, it’s true. When I was sixteen and had an account on Nexopia I got a message from a guy saying that I was the ugliest girl he had ever seen. I later learned that he had sent the exact same message to several other female Nexopia users but almost ten years later I have never forgotten those words even though they were spoken from a complete stranger. I am blessed to have gotten countless positive and uplifting messages but that was one inbox notification that always sticks in the back of my mind. From now on, let’s bombard people with hundreds and thousands of positive, loving, kind words so we can try our darnedest to block out the people who do otherwise!

I think one thing that I wish more people knew was that words hurt, regardless if they are spoken, written, or typed. If it is too difficult to come up with positive words, it’s best to keep the negative ones to ourselves.

Jorge Luis Borges puts this a bit more eloquently than Thumper when he says, “Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence”.

Thank you for reading this post and for all the positive words you choose to share in your life today!

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1 Comment

  1. September 21, 2016 / 6:41 am

    We always talk about this in terms of “withdraws” and “deposits.” Withdraws are criticisms and critiques, and deposits are good experiences, compliments, etc.. You can only give withdraw if you’ve put enough deposits in, or you leave the person with a negative balance (opinion) of you. Deposits are free!! Deposit deposit deposit…and just be nice to people! 🙂

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